what it’s like now


Whizzing back to the present as I have wallowed a bit too much in the past (and Mindfulness teaches one to remain in the present !)

I manage pretty normally these days, OCD is minimal but still present. The big issues are going away and  going out for a whole day. I get by from day to day by following small rituals- mostly cleaning. I hate the feeling of having to do them but I would hate the feelings of unease if I didn’t.  I suppose I resent having to do them, but I  would be unable to do any work or to get on with whatever I’m meant to be doing unless I do. I do them,longing for them to be over and the relief afterwards is good.  

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