I have woken up after a dream involving several of the usual features. I wonder whether dreams which feature anxieties are healthy outlets or just plain exhausting ? It’s given me a headache anyway. Usually they feature searches and the feeling that I haven’t done things like preparing for exams – I’m usually rushing about trying to keep things in order. Lavatories and bathrooms are often there – and last night I was desperately trying to clean a bathroom and had been left alone with someone staying with us and trying to look after a much younger Theo, feeling wretched that I couldn’t cope. I was also given a film to study ( arty French and totally incomprehensible) but I think this is because before I went to bed I was looking up plays for Theo to go an see as part of his GCSE Drama – I would like to see Antigone at the NT ( ok,I would like to see Christopher Eccleston in Antigone).
Today I am doing some cleaning which is dull but I will feel relief afterwards and be able to get on with a bit of work. To swap it round and work first would make me anxious – any changes to routine are anxiety provoking but if tolerated can be quite rewarding. However,today I shall stick to the usual.